English words all Thais know

You can get by to a certain degree in Thailand if you speak only English, especially if you know which English words the Thais use in their daily life. The relatively few Thais who can speak English well know a lot more than these words, of course. But, if you meet ordinary people, you know that they at least know and use these words:

Air (airconditioning)	game	queue
alcohol	gas	reception
apartment	gay	recycle
apple	gear	remote (control)
Asia	guaranty	resort
bacteria	guide	rock (music)
bank	helicopter	romantic
bar	hello	safe (for storing valuables)
barber	ice cream	sandwich
battery	idea	scoop
beer	IQ	scotch (tape, fabric)
bill (”bin”)	jeans	sexy
bonus	kilo	shirt (with a collar)
boss	lane	shopping
brake	lens	show
buffet	lift	silicon
bye-bye	lipstick	size
cable (-TV)	lock	sofa
cafe	lotion	soup
cake	love	spray
cancel	mafia	stamp
cartoon	makeup	start (an engine)
cashier	malaria	steak
champ	mascara	sticker
chocolate	menu	style
christmas	motorcycle	supermarket
coffee	motorway	superstar
computer	muslim	sure
concert	necktie	surprise
concrete	office	switch (electrical)
contact (contact lenses)	OK	taxi
cook	OT (overtime)	team
copy	party	technology
corruption	passport	tent
counter	percent	term (school)
dictionary	perfect	tissue
diesel	piano	tom (tomboy)
fair	pickup (truck)	tour
fan	ping pong	townhouse
farm	plaster	video
fashion	plastic	view
film	plug (electrical)	virus
fluke	poster	visa
foam	program (tv)	vitamin
free	promotion	vote
furniture	pump

Pesky Company Bank Account

Once a month, I visit the bank our firm uses. The purpose is to pay myself my monthly salary. This obviously cannot be done via Internet Banking—that would be too easy. You have to show up in person in the bank. And, not just any bank branch; it has to be the one where you opened the account.

I’ve been coming to this little branch every month for about four years now. Yet, every single time there are problems, mostly with my signature. It goes like this:

1. I fill out the withdrawal form and sign it.

2. The teller disappears into the back room and spends five minutes looking for the folder with my original signature on paper.

3. The teller comes back with the manager.

4. Together, they study my signature carefully (another five minutes). Then, they smile apologetically and ask me to fill out a new form (five minutes…), but this time to try to sign like my original signature.

I know that the employees in that branch know me well, for the simple reason that I hear a collective sigh every time I come through the door. Yet, they keep pretending I'm a criminal who is trying to forge a signature. When I ask why, the answer is that "Management at headquarters is checking very carefully."

The banking industry in Thailand held a large share of the blame for the financial crisis of 1997-98. Local bank managers had too much power and lent large sums of money with little security. After the crisis, the Thais passed a set of laws so draconian that still, after 15 years, it is virtually impossible to get a loan here, and, as my example shows, it’s also almost impossible to get your hands on your own money, at least if you’re unfortunate enough to have to use a company account.

(From Thailands Tidende Nett 2012)

Long Struggle to Pay Water Bill

Last time I arranged to have my utility bills automatically drawn from my bank account was about 15 years ago, back home. That took about 30 seconds via Internet Banking. So, naturally, I thought the Thais would have been able to come up with something similar in those 15 years. I was wrong. Here, it took me 3 months, not 30 seconds.

After a lot of research, I came up with the following steps:

1. Go to your local Waterworks office and get an application form. Fill it out.

2. Go to your bank to get the form stamped. Bring your bankbook and the most recent water bill.

3. Go back to the Waterworks department. Bring the stamped form, the water bill, and a copy of the first page in the bankbook.

3b. If you forget to bring a copy of the bankbook, there is a copying service located somewhere in the vicinity of the office, but nobody is able to give you directions. Alternatively, you can try to bribe the staff to make a copy for you.

I was informed that customers of Krung Thai or Kasikorn Bank could have the draw in effect the next month. People who use other large banks like Bangkok Bank, Siam Commercial Bank, or Bank of Aydhya had to wait three months. I have accounts in many banks here but, of course, not in the two favored ones.

I’m not exaggerating when I say I wasted two full days on this operation. The Waterworks office is located in Naklua, while my bank is on Central Road—where the traffic is at a standstill after 10 a.m. I tried to save time by using a bank branch in Naklua but that was not acceptable. The form had to be stamped at the branch where the account was opened.

I do most of my banking through my old account back home. I haven’t been in any of their branch offices in over ten years. That works fine. Here, I find myself running in and out of banks all the time. There doesn’t seem to be an end in sight. Thai utility companies and banks don’t work for us; we work for them.

(From Thailands Tidende Nett 2012)

Thais vs. Thai Landowners

Something happens to the jovial Thai people when they become landowners. Let’s try to find out what it is.

The word Thai means Free, as in freedom to drive a motorcycle the wrong way up a one-way street, or freedom to sell food on the beach without a license. Freedom also means that you are free to do exactly as you please on a piece of land you own.

In Thailand, it’s in fact considered rude to contact a landowner and suggest that, as his neighbor, you’re troubled by certain things, which may include

- A private karaoke bar between 2 and 6 a.m.,

- Half-a-dozen dogs that alternate barking all night, or

- Teenage boys who “repair” motorcycles by revving the engines up to 6000 rpm.

Thai Freedom also means that you can make additions to your house exactly as you please. In many countries there are building codes. That’s true for Thailand as well, although you could be forgiven for thinking otherwise. Take any residential street with attached houses. You can usually count on one hand the number of houses that still have their original designs. The others have extra floors, roofs, walls, you name it. And don’t think you, as the neighbor, can just complain about all the rainwater ending up on your property, or that the sidewalk in front of most houses is blocked. Because that’s rude, you see. If you do that, you’ll encounter the Thai Homeowner, and he’s not smiling.

Some Thais get so comfortable with their status and wealth that they start to look at the State’s property as their own, like vassal kings a few hundred years ago. If you drive around a bit in Thailand, you’ll see perimeter walls built half-way into what used to be sidewalks--or, built right into an intersection, causing all kinds of accidents. But do the Thai Landowners care? Well, why don’t you ask them.
(From Thailands Tidende Nett 2012)

What Will My Wife Inherit?

Question:

I have children back home from a previous marriage and have a savings account there as well. My wife is Thai and we are living in Thailand. We bought a house in Thailand in her name before we married. I wonder what my wife will inherit.

Sincerely, A. T.

Answer:

Some people choose to do this the easy way: Let your wife keep the house in Thailand, and let your children share the amount of money back home between them. When I say, “let her keep the house,” it's in fact redundant, since it’s already in her name and your Norwegian heirs cannot make any claims on this house. The reason is that real estate in Thailand owned by Thais who marry foreigners remain the separate property of the Thai party, since foreigners here cannot own land.

If you have assets in your own name (for example a car or a condo) in Thailand, you should write a will here. It will make the process for your heirs much easier and faster. If your only investment in Thailand is the house in your wife's name, then there’s no need for a will if it only says that she will inherit the house.

(From Thailands Tidende Issue 1/2012)

Can I Rent a Car in Thailand?

Question:

I have heard that foreigners can rent cars in Thailand if they pay at least 50 percent cash. Is this true?

Yours truly, "Poor"

Answer:

It can certainly be expensive to rent a car in Thailand, and the major national / international chains gladly demand high deposits—20-30,000 baht—but we have found no discrimination against foreigners when it comes to renting. And, we have not found anyone with a policy to charge a deposit of fifty percent.

In general, small local rental companies are the cheapest. They also have the lowest deposits, often in the range 7-10,000 baht. International brands often require a minimum of 20,000 baht deposit, which must be deducted from a credit card. Industry leader Hertz requires 30,000 baht.

The tourist spots in Thailand feature many small car rental companies, and they are often very affordable. The firm called “Pattaya Rent-a-Car” charges 8,000 baht per week for small cars and requires a week’s rent as a deposit. But, they also have a reservation fee of 2,000 baht, so the total is 10,000 baht. The minimum age for renting a car is 21 years. You need to show ID card and driver’s license (for Thais) or passport and international driver’s license (for foreigners). Foreigners with a national driver’s license in English can use this. They charge extra if there are more than one person who will be driving. You can drive as far as you want at no extra charge, just return the car with a full tank of gas.

The firm “Thai Rent-A-Car” is a large Thai-owned company which operates nationwide. They allow foreign customers as long as they have a valid driver's license in English from their own country, or alternatively an international driver’s license. Passports and visas must be in order, and they have a 20,000 baht deposit for cars with engines under 1,600 cc, and 40,000 baht for cars over 1600 cc, but that is true whether you are Thai or foreigner. This company operates only via credit card. Insurance is included in the prices, and it covers the driver and passengers. It covers up to 200,000 baht in medical expenses and ambulance, and up to 1 million baht in case of death.

Checklist before you rent a car:

1. Consider renting a car with a driver, then you don’t have to worry about the other items on the list.

2. Countries with left-hand traffic, such as Thailand, India and Cyprus, have significantly higher accident frequency according to the magazine Travel & Leisure.

3. Choose the right company. The large, international chains are often more expensive, but they have a larger selection, and the cars are often newer and in better condition. And, they tend to have many service stations.

4. Choose a deal with unlimited mileage in the price, and go through all the possible additional costs with the company, so you know in advance how much you should pay.

5. The insurance should cover Third Party Liabiliy, Collision Damage Waiver/Insurance and Theft/Loss Waiver/Insurance of the vehicle. Be aware of your deductible!

6. Check the rental car carefully for scratches, dents and other damages before driving off. Take pictures of the car from all sides for proof. Make sure that any damage is written into the contract. Also, check the condition of the tires.

7. Most car rental companies require an imprint of your credit card as security for the car. Request that the company tear this up when you return the car. Otherwise, they can draw extra funds if they believe there is too little fuel in the tank or you have damaged the car somehow.

(From Thailands Tidende Issue 10/2011)

I Want to Work in Thailand!

Question:

My dream is to live and work in Thailand. Is it difficult to get a work permit?

Tourist 

Answer:

When we talk about working in Thailand, it's useful to know the Thai mindset first: Thais like short-term tourists and resident senior citizens best. These groups threaten nobody, take no jobs from the Thais themselves, and they usually stay away from criminal behavior.

The type of foreigner the Thais—based on long experience—like less, are young or middle-aged men (well, 90 percent men and 10 percent women) who come here to live and make a living here.

A number of these people are in fact criminals, or at least unreliable people fleeing from financial problems in their home country. They often support themselves by talking their fellow unsuspecting countrymen out of their hard earned money. They do this by starting businesses in tourist-related areas—such as restaurants and bars, or something in the property arena.

Therefore, one can understand that the Thais

1) Have made it difficult to get work permits here,

2) Use a lot of resources to ensure that the work done is in accordance with the laws, and

3) Penalize violations of the law severely.

Having said that, there are after all those who manage to make it here. Because the Thais have reluctantly realized that they need some foreigners here to make the wheels go round in both tourism and business in general.

Here are some ways you can work on in Thailand:

1. Create your own workplace

A number of foreigners have created their own jobs and started up small businesses here. Thai law states that a company must be able to show a profit before they are allowed to hire a foreigner. So, how come some foreigners manage to start up new businesses with themselves on the books holding work permits? That’s the great mystery, but it happens with the help of great advisers and lawyers—and an ability to read between the lines.

If you want to start your own company, you must be aware that you’re required to hire four full-time Thai employees for every foreigner employed. And, every company must have an office with one work station for each employee. This law is not particularly well adapted to our new online world.

2. Become a teacher

The most common way to work in Thailand is to become a teacher. And, the most common subject is English, of course. Non-native English speakers may not apply. Teachers are not paid particularly well in Thailand. As a foreigner, you can expect a starting salary of 25-35,000 baht per month.

3. Be employed by a company

Being employed by a Thai company is not impossible. It’s in fact a feather in some Thai businessmen’s cap to have foreigners on the staff. However, you must find a way to get to know these business owners first. We meet foreigners here who work as translators and “ambassadors” for firms, there are also those who work as private tutors for children of rich families.

4. Working through the Internet?

What if you wanted to come here to live and work through the Internet but be paid from your home country?

Well, it's not allowed, as was clearly demonstrated last year when four Norwegians and two Swedes spent three weeks in jail in Pattaya after having run a legit (businesswise) call center from here. But, there’s little doubt that many foreigners in Thailand wholly or partially make a living via Internet activities, even though it’s against the law.

(From Thailands Tidende Issue 9/2011)